22 June, 2010 | No comments

blogging again

For the past couple of months I have been pretty edgy.  I have a heavy course load, I am a stay at home parent and I have not felt like I have really been able to unwind.  A couple of weeks ago I started playing Dungeons & Dragons Online and that has made me feel a lot better.  It is weird how much better I feel when I play a little in the day.  DDO is F2P (Free to play) and I do not intend to spend money on leveling up so I am not sure that I will be interested in it much longer.  I am hoping that any pleasant distraction that allows me some space to unwind will be sufficient in replacing DDO and that is why I have started blogging again.

Today will be day three of mowing the lawn, assuming I get around to finishing today.  I had mowing the lawn.  It is hot, my lawn is overgrown from the weeks of procrastination and mower will not shoot any trimmings to the side or into the bag so it keeps jamming up and it takes about an hour to do 1/4 of the yard, when it should take an hour to do the whole thing.  Ugh.  Lauren is home from work tomorrow so maybe I will just finish then.  This whole thing sucks, I need to get online and order some replacement parts for the mower.  Maybe I will do that today…

THE DUDER RISES FROM HIS SLUMBER!

21 June, 2010 | No comments

my brain hurts

I managed to stay under 2000 calories today, that is good.  My head hurt all day, that is bad.  The pain was either dehydration or caffeine withdrawal.  I used to justify a can of pepsi this evening while watching a movie with Lauren.

So, for breakfast I had a hard boiled egg and a cheese stick.  For lunch I had a roast beef sandwich with 16 oz of milk.  Dinner was some pasta and snack was popcorn and a can of soda.  I am happy I kept track of everything I ate and I am glad I am taking the time to write this down so that I really have time to reflect on my dieting.  I am hungry all day…  I constantly want to find an excuse to eat.  This blows.  Tomorrow I will try to drink at least a gallon of water.

20 June, 2010 | 2 comments

I am fat.

I am about 290 lbs and get between little and no exercise. I walk the baby most everyday, but that is about the most strainuous thing I do. Looking at a looking at a daily required energy calculator I would need about 2335 calculators to maintain my weight. -I think this is low and will check into it again.- My BMI (body mass index) is 41, extremly obese. I want to be around 180 lbs, which is 110 lbs less than what I am now… Wowzers.

I am not comfortable going to the gym with the baby, but I need to do something. And my comfort with taking the baby may just be me making an excuse, I need to be honest here. Humph. When I make a change it has to be something that is not drastic, but sustainable. I need to change the way I live. I am rambling for myself here so, a list of problems

1. I eat massive quantities
2. I do not go to the gym
3. I do not work out at home
4. I love food. Sad, happy, bored, celebrating… food does it all.

Crap, I really thing that is the gist of it. And It can probably be broken down to 2 points:

1. I eat too much too often
2. I do not work out

I love writing things out. Lauren gets upset at times at how much I love making lists are setting plans down on paper because I can be unflexible. It is like I have aspergers… Hopefully this will work out to my benefit this time.

Soooo, I am only going to focus on one of the two areas. Lauren is covering work out type issues so I will focus on cutting my intake. Today I had a bare minimum of 6 cans of soda pop. That is low balling it. I made myself 2 roast beef and provalone subs and 1 pastrami and provalone sub. Oh, probably had about 10 cupcakes. I do not think I had anything healthy, maybe a cup of milk and a cup of grape juice.

Starting now I am only going to drink water (sometimes milk or watered down grape juice..no chocolate milk, soft drinks or beer). Hmmm…I will make a menu for myself for each day of the week as a method of counting calories. If I just allow myself to get whatever then I will go off the path quickly and I may not look back. The best plan is to set out a meal plan ahead of time and stick to it.

Rough outline of daily menu:

1. Breakfast – egg and breakfast shake
2. Lunch – sandwich and fruit
3. Dinner – sensible/whatever
4. 3 snacks through the day – serving of fruit or cheese
   

   I am hoping that by writing this down I will be motivated to stick to my plan.  Today is Sunday, so the next time I weight myself again will be next Sunday.  Rock

24 February, 2010 | 4 comments

Day 1:

I feel like a shmuck.  I am sad to be a stay at home parent.  I feel like I am not contributing.  Meh.   I wonder how much my feelings are affected by the social norm of daddy works and mommy stays home. Nothing I can do about it for now anyway.

For now all I can do is focus on my schooling and whats not, and hope to someday have a career.  I am twenty-eight and I do not have a career.  I am so happy that I can blame the economy for my shortcomings.

I woke up at 5:45 today to make Lauren’s breakfast.  I really wanted to help her transition back to the work world as painlessly as possible.   I made coffee, eggs, toast and sausage.  I ended up tossing the sausage because after I nuked it the sausage took on many of the characteristics of Styrofoam.  Lauren managed to get out the door at 6:40, which is really something of an accomplishment for her.

John slept until 7:15.  I knew the day was coming when I would have to take care of him alone, it was like the feeling at morning PT in the Army right before you started the five mile run.  Gotta do it.  Overall it went pretty well.  For the first meal of the day I made John a bottle and then poured it on him.  That was upsetting to both of us and he was pissed the whole time I was changing him.  We had some good play periods during the day, and for tummy time I put him on a blanket which gave him more traction to maybe almost do something.  The only other highlights would be “Ghoulies” on HBO:Zone and the return of mommy.

4 January, 2010 | 1 comment

baby

So, we now have baby.  So far the only thing I have been comfortable calling him is “Doctor Cyclops”…he has the shits right now…. gotta go.

13 October, 2009 | No comments

I forget words

Nod doing homework, reading old blog posts.  It seems I replace words with similar sounding words or just leave words out completely when typing.  Dern.

13 October, 2009 | No comments

Need to write a paper for my dietitian class linking diabetes to polycystic ovarian syndrome and then discuss ways you diet can effect the condition.   Due in 2 days.  Today is almost over.  I have not written anything yet.  Five to seven pages, but it is double spaced so no biggie.  Poo.

Dropped off some shoes of ours to be resoled, will get those back in two weeks.  Picked up dog poop in the yard.  Really avoiding this paper.  Found a new recipe, Chicken Crunch, I am going to make that for dinner.  I hope it does not suck.  I have less than an hour before I need to start dinner so I should really focus on that paper.

12 October, 2009 | No comments

My son’s room.

I am really happy with the progress on J.R.’s room…not sure what too call him yet. John is growing on me but still seems to common. I like Reginald alot but my speech impediment (which hardly exists now) makes me self conscious about using that name or Reggie because it will end up Weginald or Weggie and that is just not cool. I will probably end up with Lauren calling my boy Johny. Anywho…

I am really happy with the progress on J.R.’s room. The walls are a fun but not too bright shade of green. The carpet and tile have been removed, floor has been sanded and resealed and is now a nice light woody(?) colour (out of space). We have the crib and the dresser and a rocking chair and a table and 2 bookshelves…it looks great! One thing is that the wood on the floor matches the furniture a bit too well in my opinion. We are going to be breaking up the lighter colors with a coffee brown rug and some brown curtains. AWESOME.

19 September, 2009 | No comments

Last night I stayed up with Sam.  Lauren and I have been waking to find the kitchen spotted with diarrhea, and hoping to avoid this happening again I stayed up letting Sam out every sixty to ninety minutes.  I fell asleep after four and when I woke up at six I stepped in a pile of vomit, stepping back in revulsion I placed my other foot in diarrhea.  How disappointing.

Lauren and I had a hell of a time dealing with Dell on the phone a couple days ago.  I got a Dell Mini 10, with the HD screen and television tuner (awesome) and it was nothing but problems.  I immediately brought this up with Dell and they consistently failed to correct the problem.   First they sent out a repair man (who was very competent and I have nothing but respect for) but gave him the wrong replacement part.  I was not going to send in my computer in for one pixel to be fixed, I wanted a refund or exchange but they would not do it.  Over the next week the screen went to crap, white lines going from one side to the other.  I called Dell and the said just sent it in and they will fix it.  I sent it in and then get an e-mail saying that the computer had been received and would be reflected on our credit in the next thirty days.

That is not sounding like “hey, we are fixing your computer and it will be back in a few days” but it also is not a clear “hey, here is a refund”.  I called trying to figure out exactly what was going on and kept getting disconnected or transferred from tech support to finance, back and forth.  After an hour Lauren called on another line and it was another hour before somebody finally just told us we were getting a refund.   It was not that hard, I did not ask any complicated questions.  Dell sucks.  Anywho, I will be buying a Dell Mini 10v with Ubuntu this week.

10 September, 2009 | No comments

humph

I am really agitated right now.  Just overwhelmed, I feel angry but I am not.  I am stressing because we have been doing a lot of work in the nursery and I have been neglecting school work and tomorrow I have 2 tests in my physiology and anatomy class which I have not studied for and I still need to do my homework but I do not think I will do it before I go to bed because when I am fucking wound up I need to unwind before I can do anything and even though I tried to deal with my feelings by downing a shit load of cheese popcorn and RC I am not doing much better.  I dislike that when I am agitated I have a strong desire to act out but I do not because I understand there is no reason for it and nothing good can come from it but when I am pissed I want to make some kind of external expression of the internal tension but grrrrr….  Another thing that gets me is after I had already decided I would just hang on to my new dell computer and not sent it in to be fixed the screen got way worse and that annoys me because now I have to send it in an go without it for 1-2 weeks and then hope it works when I get it back….. fuckers.

« Next entries